Girls, Girls, Girls

Lately I've heard from a handful of women who have reached out to explore a possible professional meeting with me. While it isn't something I look for, or anything I've ever tried, it doesn't mean I would rule it out completely. Sure, I've fantasized a time or two (hundred), but that's as far as it's gotten. That's not what this particular story is about, though.

In the cases of these contacts, I find myself really interested in hanging out with them... like as girlfriends. I want to meet them for a glass of wine at the end of the day - or for a great lunch somewhere women like to go - a charming outdoor cafe, a chic hotel restaurant, or wherever delicious food meets interesting people watching... you get the idea. And thankfully, I have met some of them.

One of them once for coffee. I found myself wanting to stay longer chatting and laughing with her, or making plans to meet again sometime, maybe we could have met for a manicure or checked out a movie sometime or walked through the Pasadena Showcase House for Design. Since I didn't hear back, I'm not sure she felt as comfortable as I did.

Once when I was traveling, another advertiser who advertises with the same site as I do contacted me to ask if I needed anything while I was in town - suggestions for places to go or things to do. I thought it was so sweet of her. She said how she didn't want me to think she was weird or anything, and she mentioned that we had a mutual friend. She said she felt a little awkward reaching out, but I thought it was so thoughtful. I truly appreciated it. I met her for a bite while I was in town and we've kept in touch a little here and there. In fact, it was her blog that inspired mine. I was so impressed with how interesting hers was - lots of different topics and all of her opinions original and articulate, so well written. I'm glad we had a chance to meet.

So here I am, making plans to do some traveling of my own and I'm not sure I'm brave enough to do the same kind of reaching out that she did. I don't know if I have mutual friends with other advertisers but sometimes I scroll through the ads looking for people I think I might enjoy meeting - as a girlfriend, who likely has similar experiences and interests. It would be nice to know other women both at home and in other cities that I could catch up with from time to time.

Last year I met with a woman who thought I'd make a good companion for "doubles" with her. While I wasn't interested in doing doubles, we did get to emailing back and forth, then had a lunch and it turned out to be something really interesting for both of us. I learned a lot more about her side of the business (fetish) and she learned more about mine - that is doing what makes sense for you, creating your own style and not following anyone else's model. She too wrote beautifully and I was very inspired by her storytelling.

A few years ago I met a couple of women that I like to stay in touch with. We met through one of those "Meet and Greet" parties that a local discussion board was putting on. Meeting the women there and learning from them, staying in touch with them, was more valuable to me than any potential clients I could hope to meet. I don't go to the parties anymore, but I would like to be able to meet women that I might become friends with somehow - I'm just not sure how.

I'd even like to stay in touch with that woman who wrote to me so upset back at Christmas time. I like to think that if she knew me, she'd probably like me, but mostly I'd just like to catch up with her and hear how things are going for her. I really do hope things are getting better.

Currently I'm emailing with a woman who contacted me through my site and I feel like we're becoming friends. It would be great to meet sometime, we'll see how it goes. So far I know we both like comparing travel notes! And I think it's interesting that she had considered what I call my "moonlighting" experience for herself at one time.

It can be awkward...I feel awkward about it sometimes. Last Summer I went to a concert with a girlfriend I met through the Meet and Greet party. My brother and sister were at the same concert and we all got together for drinks afterwards. I introduced my friend without explanation - but I was a little worried they'd ask "where did you meet her?" They didn't, but what if? We had talked about it beforehand, just in case, so I was prepared.

So I guess my point is just this; if you're a woman and you think we might be compatible as friends, drop me a note and let me know. Chances are I'll probably want to meet you sometime, if that's okay with you, and who knows? Maybe we'll just stay in touch, hang out from time to time and share some stories. I'd like that.

Sex and Obama's Re-Election

Abortion and birth control are being debated still, really? Didn't we progress through this a long time ago? Yes, but it's time to tip the scales for Obama's re-election.

In taking a look at the statistics, like an independent thinker should, it's quite popular to be in favor of birth control and if we learned anything from the Komen/Planned Parenthood debacle last week, it's that most Americans support women's health and their freedom to choose regardless of who is opposing, and not by any small margin - it's overwhelming. It's a safe debate for those who support birth control and womens' health - they can't lose. They can afford to stand firm.

The health insurance debate over requiring insurance providers to cover birth control for women is now the hot topic between religious leaders and politicians - and it's deliberate. "Genius", I say, and quite opportunistic - in a good way.

This debate goes a long way in doing a number of things in favor of re-electing the President in the upcoming election and here's how:

While Americans may not understand all of the issues and may only be able to personally relate to some of them, they can all understand and relate to sex and it's important to them. There are plenty of other issues, most are complicated, sex is simple. It gives those who were on the fence about how to vote this upcoming election a clearer platform to base their decision on. Most have a definite opinion on the matter. Those who would like the government and the churches to make their reproductive choices for them can vote for any of the Republican candidates and those who don't, won't. It's that simple. If you didn't know where you stood before, you do now. Since most would like to have a say in their reproductive health, regardless of what their religion teaches, this issue creates a solid majority that can agree on something.

As a bonus, it puts the spotlight on Romney, the one possible obstacle to a re-election, casting doubt on his "conservative" values for the provisions for women that were in his MA health care plan. Is he just saying what he thinks people want to hear or has he really changed his position? Anything that keeps the selection of a candidate unclear and creates a longer process for doing it by raising questions on their values and record is good for the other side. Even better if it's the truth.

The reversal of Komen's decision, coupled with the public's demand for and Komen's acceptance of Karen Handel's resignation, was a direct result of the public's reaction to decisions being driven by religious minorities... and politicians and Americans were paying attention, thankfully. Hopefully the GOP will re-think where it stands on the issues for 2016, because it's probably too late for 2012.

Defining Spirituality for Myself

I recently wrote a guest piece for a minister who is publishing a book relative to spirituality and sex workers. I was asked to give my thoughts on spirituality, life lessons, religion - if I had one, and to include a brief bio. I enjoyed the process it took to get my thoughts written down, but because I believe it to be such a private and personal thing, I took me a while to get it just the way I was comfortable with it. I still am not sure that it completely expresses how I feel but here's how it looks:

I'm no expert on the subject but I'm happy to share what I believe and what's evolved for me up to this point. 

I believe that spirituality, enlightenment, a soul force belongs to everyone and that the practice of learning and growing is a choice. It's a very personal experience that is shared by example in having been moved, touched and inspired, directly or indirectly. It can be inspired in infinite ways and is not limited to any particular place, in any particular book, by any particular practice, with any particular label. I believe that true spirituality doesn't divide, doesn't discriminate, doesn't impose, rather it connects. For me, spirituality is an empowering force that has no boundaries, no limits. It is optimism, a trust and awe in the universe, a connection to all life, and the opening of one's heart and mind. It's about finding grace in what you've got, in everything, right now.

I don't subscribe to any particular religion. My thoughts about religion are that it is a path and a belief system - a choice, and just one of many. I don't believe that it is always helpful and I don't believe it is necessary for spiritual growth. It appears to me to be more fairytale and less truth, more of a reflection of the period, developed through the minds of those who wrote it. I can see how religion has a historical value and can be appealing to some, offering the strength and faith they are seeking, a ritual to adhere to, explanations and ways of thinking through uncertainty. I can see that there are benefits and good intentions in religion, but mostly I find that it is limited in it's teaching, over promising and under delivering to it's faithful - falling short of all that I believe spirituality, enlightenment and personal growth have to offer. I don't believe that religion, organized or not, is synonymous with spirituality, I think they are distinctly different things. Nor do I believe that religion holds a monopoly on God or eternity.

I respect every one's right to choose to believe whatever they want and practice however they like. I have always felt that it should be done privately and respectfully, without harming or imposing on others. Religion can sometimes be threatening and dangerous in ways that don't seem to align with the values religion teaches. I find that morals and ethics, doing the right thing, living a meaningful life, happiness, love and respect are not exclusive practices to religion or the religious. They are available to everyone, everyone who chooses to practice them. 

I am thankful that I am comfortable in my spirituality, that I feel good about living my life in alignment with all that I believe, and that I have the freedom to choose.


Bio -
I was raised in a Catholic family that went to mass occasionally and on holidays, weddings and funerals. I studied for my First Communion, went to after school Catechism through Jr. High and attended Catholic school briefly. My parents were moderate liberals living in suburbia and raising their kids with openess and love. They divorced when I was 13. My brother and I lived between our parents, other family members and friends in the years after the divorce and I finally went out on my own at 17. I've been working full-time ever since, working my way up through secretarial positions at first, to management positions and finally as a business owner in residential real estate and property management currently.

I am a single mother, never married, and living a quiet life that is peaceful, fulfilling and most of all, happy. I love my dog, being a mom, spending time with friends and family, traveling, dining, sipping wine, listening to music, cooking, and when the weather's nice, I really love being outdoors - whether it's the beach, a rooftop, a garden, kayaking through the bay, horseback riding, exploring the city or sitting on the front porch.

Being a companion is how I date now - after 40. It's not for everyone, but it works for me. I want to connect with others in a meaningful way wherever I am, however I can, in whatever I do - that's part of who I am. Fortunately, I find that being a companion is another opportunity for me to do just that, and since I believe that sex is normal, natural and healthy, my intention for the interlude is always for an enlightening experience.

What's on my iPod right now.

I have several play lists, this is just the most recent. I'm loving the new Noel Gallagher album "High Flying Birds" and the new Black Keys "El Camino" so I've combined them with some other complimentary tunes. I also just discovered and can't stop listening to - Parlor Mob.

Speed Of Life    David Bowie    Low   
Breaking Glass  David Bowie    Low  
Maybe I'm Amazed    Jem    Music From The OC: Mix 2  
Let The Lord Shine A Light On Me    Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds   
Slave to Love    Bryan Ferry    Boys and Girls
Tighten Up    The Black Keys    Brothers (Deluxe)  
Next Girl   The Black Keys    Brothers (Deluxe)   
Street Fighting Man   Rolling Stones    Forty Licks   
Paint It Black    Rolling Stones    Forty Licks   
Angel   Jimi Hendrix    Experience Hendrix - The Best of Jimi Hendrix   
Could I've Been so Blind    The Black Crowes    Shake Your Money Maker   
All the Young Dudes   Mott the Hoople    All the Young Dudes   
Everything You're Breathing For    The Parlor Mob    And You Were a Crow        
Lonely Boy    The Black Keys    El Camino   
Gold On The Ceiling  The Black Keys    El Camino 
Sleep To Dream    Fiona Apple    Tidal   
Lasso    Phoenix    Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix  
My Favorite Mistake    Sheryl Crow    Globe Sessions  
Lay Lady Lay   Magnet Feat. Gemma Hayes    On Your Side  
Ain't That So    Roxy Music    Manifesto  
Money Maker  The Black Keys    El Camino  
Run Right Back   The Black Keys    El Camino   
Be Somebody    Kings Of Leon    Only By The Night   
Use Somebody   Kings of Leon 
Nova Baby   The Black Keys    El Camino
Dead And Gone     The Black Keys    El Camino
Red House    The Jimi Hendrix Experience    Experience Hendrix - The Best of Jimi Hendrix   
Lucky Man    The Verve   
AKA...What A Life!  Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds   
Little Black Submarines   The Black Keys    El Camino   
Sister    The Black Keys    El Camino 
Ticket To Ride    The Beatles    1  
Hell Of A Season    The Black Keys    El Camino   
Bittersweet Symphony   The Verve    Urban Hymns   
Stop Stop   The Black Keys    El Camino   
She's Long Gone    The Black Keys    Brothers (Deluxe)   
The High Road    Broken Bells    Broken Bells   
Now That You're Gone   Sheryl Crow    Detours   
Stop The Clocks    Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds   

A letter from your wife or girlfriend...

I received an email from an angry wife (or girlfriend, I'm not sure which she is) on Christmas Eve, trying to God shame me for being, what she perceived to be, a "serpent" in a "God loving woman's" disguise. She went on to attack my integrity, intelligence and character, outlined explicitly what she thought I did for a living and then she took a giant leap to the conclusion that I question the choices I make everyday and lose sleep over it.

So many thoughts went through my mind as I read this. I have never responded to any of the few (literally, 2 or 3) emails I've ever received from a friend's significant other. Not because I don't have anything to say to them, I have plenty. Mostly I don't respond because I figure nothing good will come out of it, so why bother? I'm sure I'm not going to convince them of anything. I won't be changing their minds or helping their situation in any way by responding. He's been caught and likely he knows about it and is dealing with it, as he should. It's none of my business. I don't respond out of respect for my clients, my friends, who I think would appreciate my staying out of their personal lives completely and I agree.

This time I read something different in her note and I saw an opportunity to say something in my defense because I didn't agree with her assessment of who I am or what I represent on my website that she had mentioned she looked at, and my blog she said she had read. She sort of was paying me a back handed compliment in saying that my website and blog portrayed a woman who was appealing with beauty, brains and sensitivity, but that it was all somehow incompatible with being paid for services. Her disgust and shame for the business side of things had her making all kinds of false assumptions. She didn't see that someone could put both of these dynamics together. She was attacking me personally and this wasn't about "stay away from my man", this was her passing judgement on me, someone she didn't know, and I wanted her to have a better idea of not only who I really am, who she was talking to, but I was hopeful that underneath her obvious pain, and on this holiday eve, perhaps I could be of help to her in some way. I think that the God references were what really put me over the edge. I wanted to be clear that I did not represent myself as the "God loving woman" she thought I did, as someone who connected themselves to the Bible and Christianity - I didn't know where that came from and it bugged me. That needed to be cleared up.

I responded to her letting her know that I appreciated her attention to my site, but that I disagreed with her assessment and let her know that she didn't really know what the fuck she was talking about. Okay, a little harsh, but I was tired when I wrote it.

There were a few more emails back and forth. We both said what was on our mind. She let me know what a horrible person she thought I was and threatened me with legal action. She asked me not to respond. But she also asked questions...in between the lines she was wanting information. Questions about moving forward from here for her in her relationship that I thought deserved an answer. So I wrote back...it was Christmas Day. It was bothering me that this was bothering her and taking her away from enjoying her family on this holiday. I wanted to let her know that I was no threat to her relationship, that I never was. That her anger and upset were misdirected and that she should be working on her relationship with her husband, the person she had expectations of and an agreement with, not me. She wrote back something about keeping my dime store psychology to myself with a couple of expletives thrown in.

I let her know that I was hopeful that by writing to her she might take the opportunity to ask questions and get answers in a respectful conversation with me. That perhaps I could shed some light for her, if she truly wanted to better understand. I told her that I understood that she was angry and hurt and that I now realized that attacking me was apparently all she really wanted - to unload. I get it. I addressed the likely outcome for him, his employer, his family, his children and her if she were to pursue legal action so that she could hopefully see the whole picture and the reality of how that wasn't going to have the affect she was hoping for. I closed by saying that I would not be responding again and that I wished her the best and I meant it.

The next day I received another letter from her. I wasn't looking forward to opening it up because they had all been so unpleasant and closed minded. She really had been blaming me for breaking up her family and ruining the lives of many, not just hers. I contemplated deleting it without reading it at all. But then I thought, what the hell? I'll just open in up and skim through it before I delete it. It was clear to me thus far that nothing I was saying to her was getting through and I felt a little defeated. I really did have good intentions that I could be of some sort of help to her, ease her mind a little. Just woman to woman, reaching out, helping her to help herself in a purely respectful, empathetic way.

I carefully open that last email. I began reading what was a completely honest, totally respectful, and a genuinely heartfelt letter. She admitted she was not really going to pursue legal action, that she understood from a cognitive place what the relationship is between husbands and affairs like these and that she didn't want to hurt anyone, she was the one hurting. She said she had known for a long time and been "living with it", trying to deal with it, that there were many, not just me, and she admitted it was not my fault. She also went on to say that she was really intrigued by how elaborate some of the websites are for some of the girls and that she had a fine holiday with her family after all. She was concerned for her health and she asked why? What was she doing or not doing to make him seek other women? Whew!

This was a breakthrough - for both of us. I wondered if this had ever happened before anywhere else but in TV dramas or fictional writings? Surely it must have... I wrote back a final note, thanking her and letting her know that speaking for myself, I had just recently been tested for everything under the sun and everything was all clear. I went on to talk about how careful most are and how professional, level-headed and business minded I found most of the women to be. I told her that while I wasn't exactly sure who we were talking about, I offered my two cents worth of philosophy on why some men see other women secretly and pay for it. I offered her some suggested reading material that I thought might be helpful in understanding not only how men and women find relationships like this to make sense for them, but also information for herself to use as she likes - to better understand how men think and to empower herself to get whatever it is that she wants for herself. It was reading that had been helpful to me and I hoped she might find something useful for herself.

I know I have choices. I make them everyday after carefully considering all of the information available to me. I usually don't question them after I make them, but if I do, I make sure there's room for me to be flexible in them. Like, if a choice I made no longer works for me, I choose something else. I don't lose any sleep over it.

My heart goes out to women who feel powerless, are struggling or hurting. I want them to know that they have choices too, that there may be some information out there that they hadn't considered, and that they can create whatever it is that they imagine to be possible for themselves. I believe that.

Whether I hear from her or not again isn't up to me. My hope is that I was able to, in some way, be of help to someone. That two women - two unlikely strangers - were able to reach out to each other and share themselves. That they are now both better able to understand each other and can talk about the things that they've been conditioned to believe divided them. It was just one conversation with just two women...imagine, if we could all just talk peacefully, respectfully and openly with each other.

Christmas Perspective

It's almost Christmas and I'm hyper aware of all the stress people have around me. I want to share with them how unimportant some of the stress triggers really are to the people who love them.

I understand wanting to be generous and gift the things they think will make their loved ones happy and I understand that for some of us, it's a blow to our self image and ego to have been able to do so much Christmases past but less this year. It's nice to be able to wrap something up that is thoughtful and appreciated. I get it. But it's not as important as they think and it's probably not expected of them by anyone else but themselves. It's a lot of unnecessary pressure to put on ourselves.

I'm trying to remember what I got last year and the year before. I can remember some, but not all and while I appreciated it all, what I remember most - what I remember fondly - is the time I spent with the people I love and the laughter we shared. I am reminded how thankful I am that we didn't lose anyone close to us, that we all have our health and each other. That anything is still possible for all of us and that we all have everything we need and most of what we want.

I'll be happy to just have everyone home for breakfast together on Christmas morning. The dog begging for bacon, some Irish Coffee to share and maybe a movie followed by an afternoon nap before visiting family later in the evening. I wouldn't miss the wrapping paper and boxes with tissue messes to clean up, the credit card bills next month or the inconvenience of having to return things that didn't fit or weren't quite right. I'd feel better knowing that they didn't spend money they couldn't afford on wrapping something up out of obligation or for fear of looking bad. I want them to know that I wouldn't love them any less. Their health and happiness is all I really want for Christmas and all throughout the year.

This isn't the last Christmas - it's just one Christmas. I don't feel pressured to meet any unreasonable expectation of myself or that I think someone else may have of me. I want to enjoy the season, the beautiful decorations, the gatherings of friends and loved ones and the hope we share for the New Year. I wish I could wrap up that kind of peace. I'd give it to everyone.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Too Quick to Judge?

This week the conversation in my head has been about judgement and how quick we are to judge others without first seeking to understand. How unskilled we are at discussing sensitive issues with each other. How we become defensive and can't really hear what the other person is saying because we're too busy making them wrong, making ourselves right and working on what we're going to be saying next to shame them, blame them or somehow make them look bad so that we will look good. I share this because I think it happens to the best of us, to all of us, and because it's something I may think I'm pretty good at, but I'm not perfect and need to be reminded sometimes.

Now that Thanksgiving is here, I have mixed feelings about being at my mom's for dinner even though I don't have to spend the night or God forbid, the week, with her, it still feels obligatory rather than celebratory and that's where I'm stuck. I'd prefer the latter rather than the former to occupy my thoughts instead, but I'm struggling.

One of the issues came up this morning as I was talking to my mom. She was talking about my cousin's house burning down yesterday and how she lost everything. Her glasses, her clothes, her shoes, her "stuff" and unfortunately, her beloved cat. We are all thankful that she's okay and we all agree she's lucky to be alive. Of course I feel terrible that this has happened to her and I wouldn't wish such a horrible event like this on anyone, ever.

My aunt, my cousin's mom, dropped everything she had going on yesterday and rushed to her aid and took her shopping for a few things. Thankfully, the Red Cross had stepped in right away with temporary hotel vouchers and help with the necessities and even some cash but most of all comforting support. I appreciate the Red Cross for that and I'll keep them in mind when I think of charitable contributions.

While all of these events are tragic and hopeful at the same time, my mom, in an effort to get the story straight from the horse's mouth, called my cousin last night. She was staying in a nearby hotel. She asked her what her plans were for Thanksgiving and my cousin told my mom that she didn't have any plans and said that if she were invited to dinner with her family, she couldn't get there because her car is not working and then she threw in "I feel alone and unloved by my family. They ignore me when I call and they don't like me."

My mom's next move was to call another family member to shame her sister, my cousin's mom, and her siblings for not doing enough to help my cousin at this time and for not taking her into one of their homes last night. She had jumped to judgement of my aunt without ever talking to her about it, without considering the history my cousin has with her family, without any benefit of the doubt for not having all of the information. She didn't seek answers, she laid down the heavy gavel of judgement on my cousin's family based on a single conversation with my cousin.

When she called me this morning, I'm guessing to get my support for her position that my aunt and her family were heartless, here's what she got instead.

"Mom, your sister ran to her aid yesterday and stayed with her all day."

"Yes, but she didn't take her home with her. I couldn't have left you there to go stay in a hotel after such a traumatic event."

"Did you talk to your sister, is there a reason she left her to stay in the hotel? Does she need to be available to the fire investigators? Is there paperwork with the Red Cross to be done today? Is she staying with her boyfriend? If she did go to her mom's, she wouldn't have a car to go anywhere if she needed to and her mom's at work all day."

"I don't know but I think it's awful. She should have taken her home with her. I certainly hope she's going to pick her up for dinner on Thursday."

"Well, she's been invited every year to her family's Thanksgiving but she rarely shows up anymore. You know, just because she was involved in a terrible tragedy doesn't take away from the years of drug abuse, crazy behavior and drama she's dragged her family through and continues to drag them through. When she was arrested this summer her mom bailed her out. (My cousin abandoned her own daughter when she was only 12. Her daughter, now grown, won't speak to her most of the time and when they do, it ends up very ugly.) She continues to use, she refuses to rehab and she still makes bad decisions for herself including endangering her sibling's minor children by giving them drugs and alcohol. One of them, at age 14, ended up in the ER on Thanksgiving a few years ago with alcohol poisoning and she's the one who gave it to them. Her mom communicates with her every month because she still pays her expenses for her because she can't keep a job and when she does have her over, she behaves like a crazy person and won't leave. She only calls in the middle of the night and when she does it's incessant and panicked. She has diabetes but won't take medicine or modify her sugary diet, she's set herself up - she makes her choices everyday and she lives with the consequences. I feel sorry for her that she doesn't learn from it and choose differently. It's like she's not just addicted to drugs, but to drama as well."

"Still, it's heartbreaking. She should be with her family now. She says she's sorry for what she's done and that her family won't give her a second chance."

"Second chance? Really? What obligation does her family have to continue to be supportive when she continues to make poor choices for herself? Who gives a second chance to someone who's endangered your children? Why should her family care more about her than she cares for herself?"

"Well, if they don't invite her I will. She should be with family now."

"Mom, do you understand that she's playing you? That she's saying whatever she can to get what she wants? It's classic addict behavior. Did you ever stop to consider the source and that she rarely tells stories that are completely true?"

"She's expressing her feelings. She's hurt."

"I get it. She's said that all before - every time you talk to her.  I feel badly for her but that doesn't mean that I'm going to throw my good judgement out the window and invite her to stay with me so she can drive me crazy when she has a perfectly good hotel that's available to her. I'm sure her brother will drive her over and back for dinner if she wants to go on Thursday but since we're not sure what her family is willing to do because they haven't been asked, is it really fair to throw them under the bus to the rest of the family right now?"

And that's where I am - stuck in not wanting to get involved, upset about all of the circumstances and reminded of how impulsive my mom is at forming her opinions without complete information. She makes me feel like I'm being an asshole about my cousin. Maybe I am. My mom knows all of the background, she didn't forget - she just thinks differently about it. I'm trying to understand better and I kind of think it's endearing that she's so loving about my cousin, regardless. It's just that I don't see the logic or fairness in having those feelings for one and not the other family members. It's like she has different standards for each person.

It leads me to question what family values are for my mom, for my cousin, for myself and what, if any, entitlements come with being a family. I think my cousin's family is being very generous with her, given the circumstances, but maybe I'm not seeing something that my mom sees. Maybe I'm not understanding my mom's perspective because I'm so outraged at what I perceive to be flawed judgement, poor communication and dangerous vulnerability.

I hope I can get to "happy to be here with you" by Thursday.

I'll propose a toast "to Peace, Love and Understanding."