In a room full of porn stars...

I went to a film screening - a documentary on the adult film industry and some of the women who star in these films. It explores how they got there, why they stay and their thoughts on the industry and profession. It's a conversation with the film maker weaving their personal stories with strikingly wholesome, honest and naturally artful images. It was such a beautiful film, thought provoking, sensitive, surprising and soulful. I say "beautiful" because the film plays like an art piece - it's simply beautiful imagery to watch, frame after frame. The woman who made it is an art photographer, so it makes sense that this documentary is different in that way. It's currently in theaters, On Demand and on iTunes. Here's the trailer: "Aroused" Documentary - available On Demand and iTunes

I don't know any more about the adult film industry that the average person. I don't compare myself or my experience to theirs except that I think that we collectively have a distinctively different perspective about sex. I don't think it's uniform, in any way. That is, we're different from each other and together we are different than the rest of society.

I was there as a guest of a friend in my real life. I wanted to use my Lacey Stevens name as I was introduced but couldn't. It was a time I felt a little torn by my two worlds. It's happened before, but this time I wanted to connect with the other people there, as a woman, from a similar or shared experience of living our lives, our choices, in a culture that misunderstands so much about us, about our experience, and for that I was a little sad.

My hope is that someday I can let my two worlds blend together in a way that is safe, finding a way to be social and supportive without risking the negative blow-back for myself or someone else... not because I think there's anything wrong with the choices I've made, or because I think society should agree with my perspective, but because society has been largely misinformed with incomplete and inaccurate information. Hopefully, little by little, they will catch up with the help of films like this one.